Our team is reading Crazy
Love by Francis Chan. It is a fairly easy read, but with deep Scriptural
truth and intense challenges. This is my favorite type of book to read. Post
modern, risky, and revolutionary.
The part I just finished reading literally brought me on my
face in worship. It’s funny when things you “know” hit you like a ton of bricks
and finally land in your soul as if you’re learning something brand new. I’ve
been talking to God and speaking with a lot of different people really trying
to figure this Holy Spirit thing out. I haven’t come to any conclusions yet,
except that I want more of God and more of His Spirit.
The chapter was about the crazy love that God has for us.
How it’s like a daughter running up to her daddy when he comes home from work
because she is so overcome with joy to be near him. God fully knows us and fully
desires us. It’s a fact we easily brush off. Something else that struck me
was that when we begin to understand God’s extravagant love for us, our “quiet
times” will turn from daily obligation and guilt into desperation and longing
to be with Him.
I had this experience with God tonight.
Our team was sitting around after dinner, the guitar was being
passed around, and we were singing and chatting all fairly light-heartedly.
Some worship songs, and some regular songs, and some written by team members.
My soul longed to be in the presence of the Lord with a kind of hunger that
can’t be explained. No one else seemed to be in that place because we just as
soon moved on to something else. I couldn’t bear it because I was so overcome.
I ran into my room to find a quiet place to be alone with my
Savior. I started listening to my ipod; all the same stuff I always listen to
when I meet with the Lord. Something was different about tonight, though. The
words and the heart behind the songs had new meaning, new feeling, new passion.
I felt like I was inside the words, experiencing their tangibility. I felt the
hugeness of God, but yet the intimacy and the love He felt only for me. I began
furiously writing in my journal; writing things like: …blind my eyes to the world around me. All I want to see in this moment
is you…I’m crying out for MORE! Don’t deny your presence. I want to be
completely overcome…
After reading a bit and meditating and truly experiencing
God for the first time in a while, everything else quickly faded. Even in this
moment, nothing else matters. This life is for Him anyway. I am continuing to
search for Him daily in the small things and give Him the glory only He
deserves.
