are getting much bigger at 1 week, 2 days old, but their eyes are still closed.
Not sure exactly what we’ll do with them, but I know we’ll have to get rid of
most of them, if not all of them. I have fallen in love with them, they are so
precious! They look like their mom (a Boerbull), but we still don’t know what
the father was.
weekly responsibilities in the office. I find myself really looking forward to
Sunday nights.
I am lucky enough that I am not too busy to continue meeting
with young girls because this is my passion! At the moment, I am consistently
walking with four girls, and meetings with still others on the side. But I love
it. I love sharing life with girls that I can pour into. The hard thing about
it, though, is there isn’t really anyone to pour into me. So I find that at the
end of the week, I am so drained and sometimes just want to crawl in bed and
pull the covers up over my head. It just sucks because there aren’t very many
strong women to look up to in the church. I find myself confiding in the male
pastors, which isn’t good either.
I’ve had a rough couple of weeks dealing with issues that
really shouldn’t be there and feeling a bit lonely. It’s funny because I go
back and forth with feeling good about things and then feeling terribly lonely.
I think it’s due to the fact that I’m still not 100% settled in. I have one
foot in each world. But, I’m not really sure how to make it better. Any
suggestions??
Sorry this update is terribly dry and boring. I’ll try to make
my next blog more interesting.
___________________________________________________________________________
If you are interested in supporting me
financially, checks can be sent to Discovery
Church, 5860 Las Positas Road, Livermore, Ca 94551. Checks can be made
payable to “Discovery Church” with “South Africa” in the memo
line. Checks can also be made out to “The Stirring” with “South Africa”
in the memo line, and sent to 1348
Market St. #201, Redding,
Ca 96001
Leah,
When I lived in Jbay a Boerbull followed the girls home one night. We named him Napoleon and he was my best friend for the week. Everyone thought he was really ugly, but I loved that little fellow. He stayed in the sideyard and slept on a beanbag. I fed him crackers. It was great. Your picture of the dog made me really happy.
Sorry about the loneliness and not having someone to pour in. And for the issues that really shouldn’t be there. I’d love to ease you with some great advice or spiritual pep talk – but instead I feel more like I’m echoing the things you feel back on this side of the ocean. So know that I’m in the struggle with you. Trying to cling to the gospel and trying to listen to the voice of love more than the noisy sound of loneliness that kind of leaves a hole in my chest.
If all else fails, when you’re really feeling the bite of loneliness, find a part of Scripture where Jesus is sitting and talking with his disciples and try to imagine him sitting next to you, flesh and blood, blinking eyes and rough hands, looking you deep in the eye and seeing you for all that you are, and telling you the same things. Its simple, but its what I have to keep doing, and there are moments when he feels really close, and the loneliness dissolves a little.
Anyways. Sorry. This is long and its on your blog post now, but I don’t think I have your e-mail. I miss you, friend. But I’m proud of you and excited about what you’re doing.
Go hug that dog for me – and go fishing, with beanie weenies.
-matt
Keep up the good work. You are in my thoughts and prayers.